The other day a Yoga student mentioned to me how she had been hurt by her mother and how difficult it had been for her. Until now, (her mother passed a way many years ago), she continues to feel the pain of the injustices done to her by her mother.
Forgiveness is for you not the one who hurt you
We spoke for a while and I suggested that perhaps she could find a way to forgive her mother. She answered that she did not want to forget how unjust her mother was to her. I tried to explain to her that the process of forgiveness was for her - to find a way to heal her wound. It did not mean that she would forget that her mother's actions were unjust.
Forgiveness is not forgetting
I don't know if I got through to her. Forgiveness is not about forgetting the wrong or about denying that anything hurtful happened. It is about finding a way to heal your own wounds. I have written more about this on my psychotherapy page.